However, if you are allowing others to direct these choices and decisions for you, then your life rests in their hands. In other words, if we were to combine the looks, personality, opinions, thoughts, perspectives, beliefs and values of your five closest friends, then we would essentially get “you”. An example of internalisation is if someo… Explanation:...Read More. Instead, think quickly, think positively, and think about decisions as actions. If you spend time with confident people, or at least people working on improving their confidence, then they will influence and encourage you to develop your social skills. – Samuel Johnson. It comes down to how you remember and perceive your experiences. To overcome social anxiety and develop confidence, try the following 10 steps: 1. It’s important to also take into consideration cultural indoctrination. These are the kinds of people who expect more of themselves than you ever expected of yourself. When we work out a maze in a puzzle book, we might start from the center of the maze - the outcome - and work our way back to the starting point. A garden needs water to grow just as much as relationships need love and attention to grow. Every choice and decision you make has a set of consequences. These people questioned what was widely accepted as being true, and over time created a new collective paradigm that transformed how we perceived our planet. As such, their influence isn’t aligned with your deepest wants, desires, and needs, and will, therefore, cause you a great deal of regret and pain in the long-run. You might, for instance, want to move in a certain direction. An internal (private) and external (public) change of behavior. And as a result, life has more meaning because you are not tied-in to thinking one way about something. However, you also shape your own perspectives as a result of what you focus on and how you focus on things. And to make your own decisions it’s important that you understand where you’re going and what you will need along that journey. However, being in control may only be a figment of your own imagination. We have a choice in how we respond to this legacy of influence. To the goldfish, anything outside the fish tank just doesn’t exist. As such, they will constantly burden their friends with pessimism and problems, in an unconscious attempt to keep them at their baseline level. It’s okay if you do. They are just looking out for what they think are your best interests. Or we might be interested in beginning a new relationship, but ultimately avoid pursuing it because we don't want to "test" the other person's feelings. Here's Why You Need to Stop Taking Life so Seriously! This naturally places you in a leadership role and puts you in a position of authority. And that’s where the MasterMind Matrix comes into the picture. NLP's account of the mind asserts that we have a difficult time processing negative statements like this: instead of processing them as a single negative goal, we focus our attention on the one positive term in the statement, which is the thing we're trying to avoid. And as long as you keep this destination at the forefront of your mind, then you are unlikely to be influenced by other people who are only looking out for their own best interests. Independence, of course, doesn’t mean that you will no longer allow yourself to be influenced by others. In fact, your peers influence every aspect of your psyche. Then they make sure that the plan is brought to fruition through consistent effort over time. When you’re under the influence of others, you will often focus on what other people want and expect from you. How to overcome social influence Other questions on the subject: Physical Education. Everyday low prices and free delivery on … People experience a variety of personal and environmental barriers to engaging in regular physical activity. Finally, when you develop your networking skills, you learn more about human nature, psychology, and behavior. However, when one of our friends does or says something that makes us feel as though we’re losing that connection, then we will naturally fight back and try to reestablish that connection once again. Yes, you listen to other people and take their opinions and perspectives into consideration. You either set these standards yourself, or you allow others to set them for you. And this goes back weeks, months and years of your life here on earth. If you’re new to mind mapping or just want to check things out, then register for the Free 12 Month Membership Program. All your experiences and the environments that have touched your life are currently shaping who you are today. They only form one of many possibilities. When you seek out diversity, you are at that moment opening yourself up to a world of variety — to a world of unique perspectives, experiences, knowledge, people, and circumstances. However, there might be times when your peers use covert methods of influence against you. Your core values are very much like your priorities for life. When selecting a new group of people that you would like to make a part of your life, it’s important to ask yourself the following set of questions: Where do these kinds of people normally hang out? They could also be lowering your personal standards and/or the expectations you have of yourself. However, moving on in this way is not easy for some people. And you essentially become a “people pleaser”. Therefore the emotions you experience on a daily basis are now dependent on the cues that other people give you. You most likely do many things today a certain way because of specific childhood experiences you have had. 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